My Heart Has Been Breaking Lately

Romans 12:15
Rejoice wih those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

There has been so much going on lately that it has been overwhelming. I feel like I have been crying so much the last month for people. I was overwhelmed when an old friend of mine had a baby girl who died from a heart condition. I had had a baby just a couple months earlier than she had her baby and putting myself in her situation brought me to tears so many times. My heart went out to her day and night. My family was crying and praying together for them during the whole time. It isn't an easy thing to go through with death, even Jesus cried when Lazareth died. So, we rejoiced when she went home to Jesus because she was not in pain any longer, but shed a lot of tears because of their loss. I can't imagine being so excited to have your baby born to then having her whisked away and living day to day not knowing how long you have with her.
The next thing that brought me to tears was a friend that I grew up with who had lost his 8 year old daughter. She too had a heart condition, but were able to spend 8 years with her. She was a precious young lady who they loved very much and were great parents to her. I just can't imagine what it would be like to have someone in your life like that who makes you smile and laugh and suddenly have them taken from you without warning. I have mourned over their loss. A moment in the day doesn't go without thinking and praying for them. I know they too are rejoicing that she is now with her Lord and jumping around rejoicing, but we mourn for our loss of her little life here on earth.
This last week I found out my old youth leader has lost his mother. His love for her was so deep and he is mourning over his loss of a parent. That has brought me to tears because you have this person your whole life and don't know what life is like without your parent. He is also rejoicing she is not in pain any longer, but mourns over his loss.
This morning I was in tears over a story I heard the other day of a man who died and he thought God was causing him to die because he didn't give enough money to the church. The lady that was telling us this is not a christian and she was so upset because she said the thing is that that money wouldn't have done any good but help the chuch with thier building and not actually help a person in need. This guy was a baptist. Why did he die thinking he was being punished? As a Christian, dying is not a punishment. What kind of testimony do we as Christians have to her now? She has this view that the church wants more and more from us in order to not be punished. This man couldn't even die with peace, knowing he was going to go see his Saviour. Where did the church go wrong? Was this man discipled? We as a church have to be careful what we teach. The unsaved see it all the time on television that if you give more money to them, God will give you salvation, health, and wealth. We need to stop teaching this false doctrine in our churches.
One last story of mine that has caused me to cry out to God is a prostitute that we have been trying to reach out to. She had actually several months ago approached my husband, but he took the opportunity to share the gospel with her. She is in so much turmoil right now and at the end of her rope. God keeps bringing her into our lives. She has moved several times, but no matter where she goes, what street she is on, what time of day it is....God causes her to be right where she needs to be when my husband is doing his flower deliveries. He will be on the other side of the city with millions of people out here and there she will be. God has not allowed her to forget His call for salvation. The other day he ran into her again and she was black and blue, blood running down her face, teeth knocked out, and stumbling all over the place. He jumped out of the truck and asked her if she was okay and she said her husband had beaten her up. She has seizures because when she was a kid, her dad beat her up. She didn't have her medicine for it and with getting beaten up by her husband she had had a seizure and her equilibrium was off. She wanted to know why nobody loved her and Mike told her that him and his wife loved her and that God loved her. She asked several more questions and then said she had to go, but she wanted us to call her in two hours. We have called for a couple days now and cannot get through. We don't know if she is in the hospital or what. We have been crying out to God to put her in our path again and to bring her to salvation. There is a HUGE spiritual battle going on right now within her life. Please cry out to God for her and for us during this time.
There was a victory I would like to share that happend this last week and that was a guy that we have been praying for and working with for 8 years now. He had totally turned from Christianity years ago and even went into a gay lifestyle. Well, we started developing a relationship with him and working with him along with praying a lot for him. This last week he called my husband and said that he realized he wasn't a Christian and had asked God into his heart and he has totally changed his life around. He has stopped living the gay lifestyle, he stopped smoking, drinking, and he even was previously depressed and on pills and he said that he didn't even need those anymore. Praise God! All these years he was living on the idea he was a Christian because he went to church when he was a kid, but God finally opened his eyes to see that he wasn't. So, please pray for Clifford as we start discipling him and that he will continue to grow.
So, there it is. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Another verse I think of with this is I Thess. 5:17 Pray without ceasing. Pray for these people who I shared about and practice these things if you are a Christian. Don't just live in your own life, but live in others.